History Schmistory: May 17. Don’t Let the Door Hit You On the Way Out!

1527: The Medici family are expelled from Florence. They came back after a few years, for the gelato.

History Schmistory, May 15: Mary Queen of Scots

1567 – Mary, Queen of Scots marries James Hepburn, Earl of Bothwell. Later, according to Monty Python, she dies:

History Schmistory: May 14. Lewis and Clark take a hike

1804. President Thomas Jefferson suggests that Lewis and Clark take a hike, so they do–across the US to the Pacific Ocean.

History Schmistory: May 12. Black Guy from Woodstock becomes Prince of Wales

1343. Edward, Son of Edward III, called “The Black Prince,” and born at the royal palace of Woodstock, becomes Prince of Wales. By the way, he wasn’t really black. That was a joke : D

History Schmistory: May 11. Constantinople founded.

330: Constantinople is founded on the site of an existing Greek city called Byzantium. Takes weeks for letterhead and business cards to be changed.

Ludicrous Latin: Canis meus id comedi

My dog ate it!

History Schmistory: May 9. Columbus Sails the Ocean Blue

1502: Christopher Columbus leaves on his final voyage to America. Naturally, he still thinks its India. Marco Polo clenches fists, grits teeth, and mutters “Columbus!” like Seinfeld saying “Newman!”

photo: wrt blog

History Schmistory: May 6. Peter Minuit buys Manhattan

1626: Peter Minuit, a Dutch settler, buys Manhatten island. Donald Trumps calls it a “classy deal,” but still fires him.

photo: technorati.com

History Schmistory: May 5. Kublai Elected Khan

1260. Grandson of the infamous Genghis Khan, Kublai was also a man of military skill. He conquered China and established the Mongol dynasty, unifying the nation for the first time since the T’ang regime. Though a nomadic warrior, he became an emperor in the Chinese tradition and earned the respect of the Chinese as well as the Mongols. Marco Polo claims to have met him in 1274.

History Schmistory: May 4. Napoleon Begins Palindrome

1814: Napoleon begins his exile on Elba, setting off one of the most powerful palindromes known to man: Able was I, ere I saw Elba.

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