History Schmistory: April 27. First Man to Sail Around the World Dead, Dies.
Sunday, April 27, 2025
1521: Ferdinand Magellan who got credit as the first man to circumnavigate the globe, even though he spent much of the voyage dead, was killed. After a journey beset by rebellion, treacherous weather and disease, the Concepción, the Victoria and the Trinidad finally reached the Philippines. There, where the crew recovered from their trials in a tropical paradise, Magellan became caught up in the fervor of conversion. He attempted to overcome a huge force of natives resistant to Christianity with a mere handful of men, and was killed in battle.
History Schmistory: April 26: Pazzi Conspiracy Fails
Saturday, April 26, 2025
1478: In an attempt to overthrow the Medici family from power in Florence, Girolamo Riario, Archbishop Francesco Salviati, and several members of the Pazzi family planned an assassination in the Cathedral of Florence. Pope Sixtus IV, uncle to Riario, was aware of the plot but had no hand in the assassination attempt. Lorenzo de Medici survived with some minor injuries, but his younger brother Giuliano was stabbed 29 times. He was only twenty-three. Far from ridding Florence of “tyrants,” the assassination instigated an uprising in favor of the Medici, strengthening Lorenzo’s position. Makes me want to sing!
History Schmistory: April 24. Rough Anniversary for Mary Queen of Scots
Thursday, April 24, 2025
1558: Mary Queen of Scots marries the future King Francis II of France.
1567: Mary Queen of Scots is captured by Lord Bothwell and taken to Dunbar.
1568: Mary Queen of Scots makes mental note to skip anniversary.
History Schmistory: April 23. Henry VIII becomes King.
Wednesday, April 23, 2025
1509. King Henry VIII accedes to the throne. His wife considers the whole thing a pain in the neck.
History Schmistory: April 22. Bastille Construction Begins
Tuesday, April 22, 2025
1370: Construction of the Bastille begins. Plans to build a big play toy in the back are never completed.
History Schmistory: April 21. Rome Founded.
Monday, April 21, 2025
753 BCE. The legendary date of the foundation of Rome. Legend has it that Romulus turned to Remus and said “Good food, great night life. How ’bout here?”
History Schmistory, April 21: I Founded Rome! No, I Founded Rome!
Monday, April 21, 2025
753 BCÂ –Â Romulus and Remus found Rome (traditional date). Also, first recorded Roman sibling rivalry. Â Their disagreement has to be settled by their mom, a she-wolf.
History Schmistory April 20: Dracula author dies. Or does he?
Sunday, April 20, 2025
1912. Bram Stoker, British author of Dracula died. His last words were “Get me some o’ them ‘Twilight’ royalties….”
History Schmistory: April 19. Francis Drake Opens a Can o’ Whoop A**
Saturday, April 19, 2025
April 19. 1587: Francis Drake attacks the Spanish fleet while it’s moored in Cadiz harbour. Before firing, the Spanish ask if he has any Drake’s coffee cake. Drake fires on the Spanish instead.
History Schistory, April 19: Drake sinks Armada
Saturday, April 19, 2025
1587Â –Â Sir Frances Drake sails into Cadiz Spain & sinks Spanish fleet, which shifts the balance of power in the world away from Spain and toward England and France. How did he ever manage to sink such a huge car? Oh, wait, the car is named after the fleet, not the other way around. Â Got it!
